Tuesday truly does suck! Traditionally, Monday had been considered the culprit but I put it to you that it was Tuesday who was to blame all along.
With Monday, you know it’s going to suck. You just had a weekend, for fuck’s sake! You need the rest. You don’t need the work. But you brace yourself. You know you’ll get through!
Wednesday is basically the middle of the week, so once it starts you know you are half way there. Thursday is almost Friday, and thus doesn’t count, and Friday is… Friday. Take it easy.
But Tuesday… It just sits there, on the entirely wrong side of the weekend. Waiting to pounce. It knows nobody takes it really seriously and that makes it vinegary, irate and murderously infuriated.
To soften the Tuesday blow, I will devote a few lines to the vehement debunking of Waage’s last post concerning Ramon, the Leech’s, background in clinical science and bitterness: While it’s true that Ramon was born in a laboratory, and is from a broken home (his first jam jar home was shattered) it’s untrue that this is his heritage.
Let me explain.
As a pre-teen leech, the kindly scientist who raised Ramon was murdered, right in front of him (or back of him; he’s a leech, so it’s hard to tell the difference and he’s ominously quiet about the subject himself; so I have this information from second hand sources only).
At any rate, Ramon’s kindly mentor snuffed it, murdered by a tribe of ferocious, mutant snails. Terrified, uprooted, young Ramon fled from the ruins of his shattered jam jar into the sewers, where a group of guerrilla rats took him in and helped him flee to the grand Amazon Delta where he became, through many exciting trials and tribulations, Supreme Prince of a village of battle hardened Amazon warrior-women who helped him vanquish the snail-tribe and avenge his mentor’s murder.
After that, he moved in with us.
…And he’s currently teaching me his own, special brand of Amazonian leech karate, so I know the whole thing is true!
Ramon sure is a great guy that way! The most passionate and vibrant leech I know.
Everyone ought to have an inspiration like him in their life. I pity those who don’t…